Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am having a problem with my child's father. He does not support his child. Whenver I call and he comes, he doesn't want to give me any money unless I agree to sex.

I am fed up with his behaviour. I have another boyfriend who has been coming to my house. My grandma agreed for him to come. My babyfather came and saw him at the house. I was combing his hair. My babyfather behaved as if he wanted a war.

He asked my boyfriend what he was doing there. My boyfriend said, "What you doing here?" He told him he came to see his child, and I was still his girlfriend. My child's father told my boyfriend he should leave because he was not leaving me and is helping to support the child.

My grandmother had to come out and ask my child's father to leave her yard. Before he left, he threatened my boyfriend. I don't like this man anymore and I am afraid he may try to hurt my boyfriend.

The money he said he brought for the child, he didn't give it to me. My boyfriend told me I shouldn't take money from him at all, I should put his name on the birth certificate as the father of the child. Please give me your advice.

C.J

Dear C.J.,

Your child's father is not a good man. He shouldn't withhold money from you to support his child if you do not agree to have sex with him. He is obligated to support his child, but you are not under any obligation to have sex with him.

Evidently, you are a young woman in great need and felt compelled to establish a relationship with another man. The reason for doing so was to get financial assistance from him.

Your child's father doesn't have any class. He visited you and saw another man. He should have given you the money and gone his way in peace, but instead he wanted to put up a fight. He threatened your boyfriend. I hope your boyfriend will not take this threat lightly. He should report him to the police.

I must caution you. This new man is coming to your home. Evidently, you are getting money from him. I hope you do not have unprotected sex with him. If you do, he is likely to get you pregnant, tying you up with another child. He may go his way leaving you to suffer even more than before.

Do you have a skill? You need to learn to support yourself and to help your grandmother.

Your boyfriend is encouraging you to put his name on the baby's birth certificate. Don't even consider doing so. If the child father's name is already there, leave it alone. If it is not there, do not add your new boyfriend's name to it.

Pastor