Dear Pastor,

It is Friday evening. I am sitting here, waiting on my boyfriend to take me to dinner.

We have been going for three months, but I am fed up with him already. I gave him a chance in my life, but it is like I am wasting my precious time. He is the seventh boyfriend I have tried.

Last Friday after dinner, he came home with me and slept over. When he left on Sunday, I thought how stupid I was. I called and told him he should not expect that from me every time we go out. He asked me how else should we have ended the night. I told him it did not have to end with sex.

Pastor, I am 27, going 28. What I have found out about these guys is they come for what they can get. When I love, I love with my whole heart. I thought I would have been married already. I started to have sex early, but I cannot stand nonsense, so when these guys get out of line, I tell them to go.

This guy is educated and very quiet. The only time he talks a lot is when he is making love to me. I hear the sweetest words. When he is finished he clamps up. It is now 8 o'clock, where is this man? He is not answering his cell-phone. Could it be he is with another woman? Should I try another man? I never had sex with an uneducated man. All my boyfriends are educated. I cannot introduce an uneducated person to my mother.

OK, pastor, I am gone. I know he will be here. I know he will lie as to where he was. I will tell you how my weekend went. Keep up your good work.

F.M

Dear F.M.,

You might be surprised to hear me say I believe that you are a good girl. Yes, it's true you have had seven relationships, but I believe part of your problem is you are too easy to get. You give yourself over to these guys too soon.

You and this guy have known each other for three months, yet he is already spending weekends with you. Yes, you told him he should not expect that every Friday, but that's after the damage was been done. This guy won't take you seriously, anyhow, even if you were to say that to him.

Having said the above, I concede part of your problem is you are probably eager to get married and are seeking a perfect man. Such a man is not around. You will not find him. Perhaps you feel because you are educated you can talk to a man, who is not on the same level with you, any how you feel. These men will not allow you to talk to them in any manner. If you were to raise your voice at them and tell them off, they will walk away because, in spite of what some women may believe, women are not scarce. If a man's goal is just to have sex with a woman, he can find women anywhere to satisfy his sexual appetite.

If you are seeking a husband, you should get to know the man for a long time. Check him out, understand his background. When a woman moves from man to man she develops a very bad reputation. Other guys say bad things about her. This guy you are hoping will stay with you was probably busy. He was probably in a meeting and had to have his cellphone off. It doesn't necessarily mean he is with another woman.

I hope you didn't tear into him, accusing him of something you were not sure about. For your own sanity, I hope he showed up.

Pastor