Babymother says she will obeah girlfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 and I am having a problem. I am living with my child's mother. I was playing around with an 18-year-old girl. She is from rural Jamaica and works as a babysitter close to where we live. She is a very nice girl. She and I became good friends, however, our friendship is causing a big problem with my babymother.

Pastor, she and I decided to have sex. I told my babymother that I was going to play dominoes with my friends. I left the house and soon afterwards, the girl left her workplace. I didn't have any money to go to a motel to have sex. She didn't have any money either. She said that we didn't have to spend money to go anywhere and that we could have it in the bushes near to her house.

We stayed around Half-Way Tree for a long time and then decided to take the bus home. We got off the bus and walked past my house. We went to the house where she worked and were there at the back under an almond tree. I did not know that my babymother had seen me. Her people were not there, but she was afraid to let me in, and I wouldn't go into their house either. My babymother wondered why I did not come home.

This girl and I did not have sex under the tree. The neighbour's dog started to bark, so nothing went on.

I went home and my babymother was furious. She accused me of having sex with the girl and I told her we hadn't. She packed up my clothes and told me I should leave the house. I ignored her. She threatened to burn up my clothes the following morning if I didn't leave. To convince my babymother that I had not had sex, I stripped right down, showed her my underpants, told her to search me. She did, and that is what convinced her that I had not had sex with the girl.

My babymother went to the girl's employer and told them that she had taken me to their house while they were not there, and they have given her notice to leave. I did not expect my babymother to do that.

This girl has nowhere to go. She is boxing food out of the girl's mouth. Every day she gets up she curses me. I blame myself, but it's my first mistake. I am not going to turn away from this girl, because she is innocent. I told my babymother that I am going to leave her for the girl. She promised to obeah the girl but I know a bigger obeah man.

Don't tell me not to leave her, pastor. If I stay with her, I might get myself into trouble. If they fire the girl, I will let her live with my mother. She can't go back to the country.

T.D.

Dear T.D.,

I am sorry to hear that your child's mother reported this young woman to her employers and now her job is in jeopardy. Your child's mother should not have reported this young woman to her employers.

You are not a wise man. You were fooling around with another woman and had to pass your home to go to her home. Didn't you consider it was likely that your girlfriend would have seen you? Well, she did, and everything went downhill. I suppose that she did so because she wanted to get her out of the area, but she should have considered the matter carefully. Jobs are hard to get and it is wrong to wilfully cause a person to lose his/her job.

The problem that you and your babymother had should have remained between the both of you, and she should not have got the neighbours involved.

You have decided to leave your child's mother if these people carry out their threat to fire the young woman. I would suggest that you and your child's mother contact a family counsellor and try to resolve this problem.

I hope that you have admitted to her employers that you were indeed on their property but not in their house. I believe that would help.

Pastor