Dear Pastor,

I would like to encourage you to continue to your good work. I am 60; my wife is 58. For three years, my wife has stopped having sex with me. She sleeps in another bedroom. Nothing is wrong with me. She told me that her body is tired and needs rest. My body is not tired. I asked her what she wants me to do. She told me I can do whatever I want, but she knows that she is tired.

I am healthy. I have women around me, and any of them would take me, but I don't want to run around. If I go into her bed, she gets up. We went to a conference and had to share the same bed and we slept head and tail. I asked her how she could be a Christian and behaving like that.

How could a woman stop having sex so early? What does she expect me to do? Sometimes I do want a little sex.

E.R.

Dear E.R.,

Someone needs to tell your wife that she is destroying her marriage. From time to time, some women declare that they have had enough sex and they don't have to have anymore. Such women are very selfish. When people are married, they have to meet the sexual needs of their spouses. That is what the Bible says.

Couples may choose to sleep in separate bedrooms from time to time, but they do need to come together to cohabitate. Your wife is driving you into the arms of another woman. A 60-year-old man is not an old man who cannot manage. You have many years to enjoy sex if you are in good health. Tell your wife that you would like both of you to go and see a family counsellor.

She might be using sex as an excuse, but there are some deep-rooted problems in the marriage that you might not be aware of.

Pastor