Dear Pastor,

I am deeply confused about my relationship. I now understand why parents say, "Stay as young as you can for as long as you can."

On November 14, last year, around 10:52 p.m., tragedy struck. It was a very painful night for me because my boyfriend of three years broke up with me. He searched my phone and saw some texts that were too intense for his eyes.

I tried to stop him, but all that resulted between us was a torn jacket and the end of my relationship with him.

He said I should start seeing other people, we needed space. I should call only if I need him.

Pastor, I am still madly in love with this man. I programmed myself to leave, but it's like elastic, it goes back to the same size.

He doesn't love me again. We hardly go out or talk. He said we are on a one-year break. We only have sexual intercourse once a month. I keep myself for him only.

Why am I doing this? I have met other guys who treat me far better, but the one guy I want just isn't cutting it for me. I cry a lot over this situation because I made a promise to myself that he is the one I am going to stick with, regardless of the situation.

However, Pastor, I feel, sooner or later, this flame is going to go out. Where would that leave me? I miss being loved. I miss that fresh, pure love. I miss him. There is more to it, but I need help with this chapter in my book.

Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,

What you are trying to say is that you were not true to this young man. You told him, in words, that you loved him and you would be true to him, but you lied.

You were seeing other. he found out the truth by what was recorded on your cell phone. Cell phones have given away a lot of people. It surely opened the eyes of the man you said you love. Right now there is nothing solid in this relationship. This man has you on a limb that can be broken at any time.

It is unlikely this man will marry you. You are trying to reach out to him. He knows it, but I doubt very much that you are going to be his wife. He may keep you on the side because you can always satisfy his sexual appetite whenever he feels for sex.

He knows you are not going to turn him down. You are afraid if you say no that would be the end of everything, as far as you are concerned.

You are being used. You don't like it, but feel you can't help it. This man has not forgiven you for what you did. He has been telling you to take a break for a year. You don't like that so he comes around, have sex with you and hardly talks to you. Why do you allow yourself to be used in this way? That is not love.

Pray and ask God to help bring this relationship to an end. If you don't, it will drag on for a long time to come.

Pastor