Dear Pastor,

I am a daily reader of your column. I am really confused. I am 22. I got pregnant when I was 16. I have been with my child's father for more than five years. He cheats on me and we fight a lot. However, he takes care of the baby and I.

I used to be in love with him but I don't love him anymore. His ways pushed me away from him. I even got into fights with other girls over him. I saw underwear in his house that doesn't belong to me. I broke it off with him after. He has said things, but I don't pay him any mind.

I am now dating an older man, 29 years older than I am. I love him. He satisfies me sexually. He shows me love. He doesn't give me money often, but he buys me whatever I want to eat and other things.

He said I'm going to be OK, I just need to have a little patience. He has a babymother overseas. He said he is not in love with her, it's just that she is doing some things for him.

I don't believe him at times. He makes me think twice whenever he is on the phone with her. The way he talks to her makes me get upset because it seems, to me, that he still loves her. I am confused and frustrated. What should I do, pastor? Please give me your advice.

S.J.

Dear S.J,

Why is it that this man does not put money in your hand? Does he feel he cannot trust you? He buys you whatever you want, but you know every woman wants a man to give her money. She shouldn't have to ask him to provide her necessary needs. Why should a woman be in a position where she has to tell a man that she needs sanitary stuff etc.?

When men don't give women money go to the stores and buy what they tell them to, but they are telling the women they don't trust them to spend their money.

This man feels you would use his money to do things that he might not approve. I repeat, every woman needs money hand and pocket from her man.

Concerning his child's mother, this man might not be speaking the truth. You are not a fool. You should be able to pick up what is going on by what he is saying to her.

I do not wish to cause any problems between you and him, but don't be surprised if this woman returns to Jamaica and marries him.

He said she is doing certain things for him. He should be able to tell you what these things are if he considers you to be his woman.

You did not say whether you are working. I rather suspect you are not I urge you to get a job, men are going to use you. Your child's father has not proven to be a good man. Your present man is hiding things and you do not have any confidence in him. Try your best to get an education and carve out your own future.

Pastor