Dear Pastor,

I am 27 and my girlfriend is 23. I don’t have a job and I am living with my aunt. She is old and she was living abroad. I drive her around and do all her errands for her. I have my own room and bathroom and my own privacy. I don’t use my aunt’s things. When she gives me my money I buy what I want. My girlfriend comes and spends time with me. My aunt has a helper and I got involved with her.

She knows I have a girlfriend. I told her so. When she cooks for my aunt, I eat whatever is cooked, but when my girlfriend comes on a weekend, I buy my own stuff and cook for the both of us. The helper doesn’t like when my girlfriend is here. She sulks until she leaves. My girlfriend asked me why she doesn’t like her but I told her she shouldn’t look at it that way.

This helper has man problems but I didn’t tell my girlfriend that I am the problem. My aunt doesn’t know that the helper and I are having a relationship. I don’t know how to get out of this. My aunt goes to bed early and this girl has slipped back into the house and into my room twice when my aunt went to bed so that we could have sex. I told her I can’t leave my girlfriend for her but she is not listening.

T.H

Dear T.H,

You are to be blamed. You should not have got involved with the helper. This helper knows what she can get out of you. How much money can you be getting from your aunt to share with two women?

You are trying to give the impression that this girl is at fault. If you really did not want a relationship with her, you would not encourage her to come to see you when your aunt is asleep. Do you expect this young woman to be pleased when your girlfriend is around? After all, she has feelings. So, make up your mind what you want to do.