Dear Pastor,

This is my first time writing to you but I must say that I am a regular reader of your column. Your work is admirable. I am 21 and enrolled in college. Pastor, I feel lost. I have been on my own from a very tender age. I lived with a guardian but never my parents. My mother lives abroad. For this reason, I am very cautious and defensive with everything I do. I have always had my guard up. The guardians I stayed with always accused me of doing stuff which were far from my thoughts. My childhood was filled with hurt, pain and misunderstanding. I miss my mother so bad. Sometimes I cried until my eyes got swollen and I could hardly see. I would also write hateful poems about her. Now that I am older I understand the situation better. My mother and I do not agree on most things. I do not think she understands me well. Currently, I attend classes at nights and I am seeking a job, not just to aid with school but because I want to earn money so I can visit my mother abroad. I miss her so much. My mother keeps saying I should find something to do and stop sitting at home. But honestly, pastor, I tried to find a job so hard but to no avail. I have very few friends. All are employed and doing well for themselves. It is only I who sit here and is of no use to society.

I am so depressed. I have gained a lot of weight and this is not due to eating. I don't think my mother understands what is happening in this country. I feel lost because my friends and I had similar dreams, yet their dreams are in action and I am just here sitting doing nothing with my life. I have prayed and I keep on praying. Yet, there is nothing going on for me. My family is not supportive. They believe I am wealthy because my mom lives abroad but this is not true. I want my mom here and I want to be a contributor to society. I feel lost.

T.M

Dear T.M.,

Although you are not working you should become active. You should join youth clubs and do physical activities. You should volunteer your time to organisations and keep your mind active, so do not sit at home and take part in your pity party. Your friends are working but don't be jealous of them. You, too, will get a job. It is only a matter of time. Your mother is living abroad. You want her to be living in Jamaica. If she is legal in America and working you should encourage her to stay and help you as much as possible. Don't give up searching for a job but in the meantime involve yourself in physical activities. You are trying to make excuses for being overweight. Stop fooling yourself. Cut down on what you eat. Eat a balanced meal. Change your eating habits and you will be just fine. Take good care of yourself.

Pastor