Dear Pastor,

I have a sister and she does not like me. She spread lies on me. She even told my boyfriend that I had sex with her boyfriend and that is not true. Her boyfriend bleached out his face and I don't know what his colour is. I wouldn't sleep with a man who doesn't accept himself. My sister has no brain. When my mother sent her to school, she used to go off and stay with guys instead of going to school. She doesn't have any education. I went to school and I have more education than she has and a better job than what she has, so she hates me.

My boyfriend does not beat me, but her boyfriend beats her like a drum. I hate her because of her lying ways. My sister used to wear my clothes. One night she had to run away and come and stay with me and she didn't have anything to put on the following morning and I even had to let her wear my panties.

At first my boyfriend believed my sister, but she borrowed money from him and when she did not give him back the money and he asked her for it, she told my mother that he never lent her any money. So, my boyfriend got to know that she is a liar and now he calls her a thief. She can't change. She was born to be a liar.

Pastor, I enjoy reading your column and listening to your show. Keep up the good work.

N.I

Dear N.I.,

Your sister will always be your sister, whether she is a liar or a thief. You might not be able to trust her, but that does not mean that she is not your sister. You should encourage her to seek help. A person who is a liar has a weakness of character, but your sister is not only a liar, but definitely a thief and she needs to be pitied.

When siblings lie on each other, people might believe because they would say that relatives won't lie on each other like that. Good relatives try to protect each other. That is why some get themselves into trouble by physically attacking or abusing those who say unkind things about them. That is why your boyfriend believed your sister after she told that vicious lie on you. But when she refused to pay him back the money she owed him and denied that she owed him, he knew that she could not be trusted.

I hope that your sister would change. Perhaps she really likes your boyfriend and she said things that will cause him to be so upset and leave you and establish a sexual relationship with her. Oh, I hate to say this, but I have seen this sort of situation over and over. Yes, some women are jealous of their sisters' mates and have gotten sexually involved with them. I hope that in your case it would never happen.

Pastor