Dear Pastor,

I am a young Christian man. I attended a crusade at a church and I liked the preaching, so I invited my girlfriend. We were not Christians when we started to go to the church. We liked the church and the preaching, so we kept going. I wasn't ready, but we got baptised. After we got baptised, the sisters in the church told us that we couldn't continue living together, so that night we had to separate.

They tried to pressure us to get married. I didn't have the money and I wanted to buy my girlfriend a ring and she wanted to wear a bridal gown. The pastor told us that he can get her a gown from one of the members who was recently married. The gown was too short and my girlfriend is tall. She didn't like staying with people so we went back to living together and we are saving to get married. The church said we were disobedient and read us out as members.

We didn't do anything to lose membership.

T.N

Dear T.N.,

Perhaps what the church could have done was to encourage both of you to get married in a very private ceremony and in your ordinary attire and without rings. And then after you were in a position to do something publicly, you could have had a big ceremony. However, the marriage would have been recorded as the first date on which it was done. In that way, the church would not have been in any position to condemn both of you for living together or to disqualify you from holding membership.

If you need any help in getting a minister to do your wedding, feel free to call me and I may officiate for you free of cost.

Pastor