My husband's shocking sex journal

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column and I have learnt a lot from you. I have two children. I am writing you about my husband, who is a prominent man in society. We have very good jobs. We have two children and they adore their father. I love him and thought that he was the perfect husband. but I have been deceived.

The children and I were away on vacation for two and a half weeks. I wanted to give my husband a surprise, so I did not tell him the exact day when I would be back. I called his brother and told him and asked him not to say anything. I knew that he would have been out of town conducting business that week and he would get back a day before his birthday. I wanted to be home to plan a surprise party for him. His brother picked us up at the airport and took us to the house.

My husband always keeps his study locked, but when I got home his study door was half closed, so I went in and saw on his desk a journal. I decided to have a peep and now I regret doing so because what I saw shocked me and I have been crying since.

My husband has recorded in his journal how many women he had sex with before we were married and since we have been married. He mentioned some of these women by name. Four of these women, I know very well. They all are in the same business with him. One of them, he said, he would never have sex with again.

He got one of these women pregnant and she aborted it. In all, he has had sex with 60 women.

I went to the children and told them that we would not have a party for daddy again and they wanted to know why and I broke down and cried. I called his brother and told him to come over, but by the time he came, I changed my mind from telling him what I really wanted him to do. So I sat down and asked him to help me plan a party. His brother asked me why my eyes looked so puffy. I told him I wanted to sleep. I knew he did not believe me.

We had a party for my husband. He was so shocked to see us. I even had sex with him on his birthday. I did all that I could. Days after, I asked him if he had been unfaithful to me and he said never. I told him what I saw and he said, yes, the things I saw he wrote them, but they are fiction; it is a book that he is writing. Why would my husband write a book and put names of some of the women I know and their telephone numbers? Now I can't trust my husband anymore and I can't trust these women to be around him.

I am willing to forgive my husband for the women he had sex with when he was running around, but those who know me and are with him, I can't forgive them and my husband is not making it easy for me. Because of the children, I am reluctant in filing for a divorce.

Pastor, if these things that my husband wrote are for a book, it would be pornographic material, rated xxx.

T.L

Dear T.L.,

I could understand how shocked you were to see the things that were written by your husband in his own handwriting. He says that they are fiction, they are not real, but this was the first time you became aware that he was writing a book. And the book is strictly for adults as you said. You have good reason not to believe what he told you because you know some of these women.

The question is, why did he record his sexual encounters with these women? Was he planning to use them to blackmail these women or was he going to read them from time-to-time and get a kick out of his exploits? He has not admitted that he did anything, but you know better. By denying that he is guilty of any wrong, you can never say that he admitted to anything wrong. However, I would suggest that both of you take a blood test. Discuss this matter with your family doctor, but please, do not tell him what you saw in your husband's journal.

Pastor