Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem I see where you have helped many people. I am begging you, please, don't say I am bad. I am feeling down so don't make me feel worse. I have two children with a man who is not supporting the children. He used to abuse me so I left him, eventually. He hardly wanted to work. We used to live together, but I went back home to my parents. My mother is helping me with the girls. I would like to go on my own but, if I do, this man will want to come around. I don't want him to.

My children's father smokes ganja and also drinks. He does everything that is bad. Everything that he gets is from gambling. Sometimes I wonder if he has HIV/AIDS because the last time I saw him he was very thin. Although he is living with a woman he wants me back.

Pastor, my babyfather's stepfather loves me and is very helpful to me. All I have to say is what I need he gives it to me. He is 50. I did not know I would have got involved with this man. He pays for the children to go to school but his wife does not know anything.

Fully satisfied

This man is better than his stepson when it comes to sex. When we have sex I am fully satisfied. I go to their house with the children and without the children. I like him so much that he does not even have to ask me nowadays for sex. He is the reason why I have not taken his stepson to court because I have to consider he is helping me. Sometimes when I look at the children's grandmother I feel a little guilty but he says that I should not feel guilty because I am not taking away anything that she should get.

I am 28. As long as I have this man I don't want any other man. I love him so much. I know he does not want me to leave him. The only way we will separate is if I migrate. Sometimes I pretend I don't miss him but if I don't see him, for two weeks I feel as if I am going to die. I don't feel bad because he is not the children's grandfather.

What do you think about my problem?

V.R

Dear V.R.,

I know you are happy for the help you are getting from your children's father stepfather. I believe you have fallen in love with him. I wouldn't question that at all but cannot encourage you to continue this relationship. It is not right. you can never tell when this man's wife will find out and tell her son you are having an intimate relationship with her husband. I believe now that now that the relationship has developed it might be difficult to stop but you should.

This man does not want you to leave him, but think about your future. There is no future for you with this man, so try your best to keep away from him. remember you are a young woman, if you are not, very careful, he might get you pregnant, what a bam bam that would be.

Pastor