Dear Pastor,

I met a guy in Jamaica 14 years ago. We have been having a long-distance relationship since then. When we met he told me he was single. I visit him once a year and it has never been a problem as I stayed at his house. I found out that he had a second child with his ex-girlfriend about two years into our relationship. I forgave him and we moved on. His ex-girlfriend migrated a year later. Due to circumstances he could not visit me.

We planned to get married as soon as I had everything in place but since it has happened about five years now, every time we plan to get married something goes wrong. I am beginning to think he doesn't want to be with me or he has already married someone and he doesn't want to hurt me. The last excuse was that a family member was filing for him. I am now pregnant at 38 years old and I don't know what to do. How can I know if someone is married? I really need your advice as I am really stressed which isn't good for the baby.

Help

Dear Help,

I don't believe that this man seriously wants to marry you. He has too many excuses and if you were impregnated by him you are very careless. You shouldn't have allowed this man to get you pregnant and you are not even sure of his status. Why don't you ask him if he has got married? Tell him that it has been a long time that he has been promising to marry you and nothing is happening so you are wondering whether he has got married without informing you. In Jamaica one can contact the Registrar General's Department to ascertain whether a person is married.

Pastor