Dear Pastor,

I am 18. I like to relate a story to you. Last summer, when I was 17, I met a guy downtown, Kingston. We talked to each other every day and became close. He is handsome and has a good body.

Sometimes when we meet he would offer me money. At first, I didn't want to take it. I started to save it. My mother is strict. she wouldn't want me to take money from a man. He asked me to have sex with him. I promised him. I would.

This is my problem. One Sunday, I asked my mom if I could go out with my girlfriends. She said yes. I made arrangements for my boyfriend to pick me up at a certain location. We took a taxi to a home where said he lived.

I did not like the place but did not want to embarrass him. I told him I never had sex before. He said I should have told him. We kissed and he said he would have to teach me to kiss. I had kissed guys before but never had sex with them.

He undressed me. I begged him not to have sex with me because I was afraid. He was very vexed and said I would have to give him oral sex instead. I agreed. He tried to finger me but did not insert too far because I was afraid of what would happen.

We started having oral sex. He did me first. I liked it. I did him. He kept telling me what to do then discharged in my mouth. After that, he said he wanted to sleep. I had a hard time waking him up to take me back so I could get home before dark.

Whenever he sees me, he tells me I am wicked for leading him on and leaving him in the dark. I am glad I did not have sex with him because I don't hear from him often anymore. he has also stopped giving me money.

L.T

Dear LT.,

You are fortunate young woman. This young man, evidently, was not aware you were a virgin. When he asked you for sex, and you promised, he did not expect you to say no when the occasion arose.

I am not saying you were wrong to change your mind. A girl is at liberty to have changed her mind at any time but a fellow does not expect her to take him to the edge of the cliff and leave him hanging.

On the other hand, he got a certain amount of satisfaction because you consented to have oral sex with him. Even in this case, you did not use common sense because you do not know a lot about this man. You do not know whether he was suffering from any sort of STDs. That sort of a risk you should never take.

This man is not calling you as often and not giving you money anymore. What he wanted he didn't fully get. Evidently he has moved on. He sees you as a waste of time. What I think you ought to do is try your best to get an education. Don't push yourself on this man. Please, don't take the kind of risk you have taken with him with anybody else.

Consider yourself fortunate because this young man could have raped you, and if you had reported him, he could have argued that the sex was consensual.

Pastor