Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and I have a boyfriend. He is 25. He used to live with his mother, but he is renting in Kingston. I live with my grandmother. My grandmother is 65 and she is active in her church. I go to church with her sometimes when I have my day off, but I am not a Christian. She goes to bed by nine o'clock at nights, so I have to be home by that time. Whenever I go out, I ensure that I don't come back home until the following day, so I tell her in advance that I won't be home. I go and sleep with my boyfriend. I always lie to my grandmother.

I have never been pregnant. My boyfriend wants a child, but I am not ready. He has his own bathroom, so I have privacy when I stay with him. I do not like to use the kitchen because I don't like the landlady. The first time I went into the kitchen, it looked like she didn't like it. She looked at me from head to toe, but my boyfriend told her that I am his girlfriend and she said, "Excuse me". He told me not to pay her any mind. She is very nosy.

Meet his parents

My boyfriend is very nice. He is from Trelawny and he promised to take me home to his parish and introduce me to his parents. He promised to buy me some nice clothes to wear when he is taking me down because he wants me to look attractive. I do not want to introduce him as yet to my grandmother because she would question him a lot and I don't want that. He sends me credit and he gives me money every week. He has taught me a lot.

O.S.

Dear O.S.,

Your boyfriend's landlady must have been surprised to see you in the kitchen because when she rented him the room, she rented him as a single person. So when he introduced you as his girlfriend and she said, "Excuse me", that was her way of expressing her surprise. I doubt that she meant that you had no right to be there. You see, my dear, when a single person rents a house, if he or she is bringing anybody into that house to stay with him/her, that tenant should inform the landlord or landlady because that person is going to use water and perhaps burn more electricity, etc.

You are very young, and from the tone of your letter, it is evident that you do not yet understand what family life is all about. Therefore, I would suggest that you start telling your grandmother about your boyfriend and ask her for advice. She has much more experience than you. Don't be afraid to let her tell her how you feel about him.

Pastor