Dear Pastor,

I am a 40-year-old woman and I am having a relationship with a man. This man has five children with another woman. He decided to leave her because he is not happy with her anymore. She doesn't treat him well. She cooks whenever she feels like and the children have to help themselves with dry food. He says sometimes when he goes home, he has to cook because the oldest girl has gone to school.

Worthless woman

This woman is so worthless. She encouraged the oldest girl to have a boyfriend and now she is pregnant. My boyfriend is very upset about it. When he comes to me, I make him feel very comfortable, not that I want to take him away from her. That is a decision he made on his own. When he started to come by me, this woman called me a whore and a mule because I don't have children. I told one person who told me what she said and they said to tell her that every man wants a whore in bed, so I am proud to be his whore. And a good whore keeps her house clean because she has to entertain her men, so she mustn't mess with me. I don't take any money from this man, but he brings things for me. I never thought I would get involved with a man who is living with another woman, but he is a good man and he deserves to get better treatment. He has nice children and he loves them. Please give me your good advice.

Y.D.

Dear Y.D.,

I would like to know why is it that this man has remained so long with this woman if she is as terrible as you have said? They have five children together, so if they were not getting along, it couldn't be overnight. And it is unlikely that he would have had so many children with her. But I could be wrong. You see, I know, a man can suddenly find fault in his woman when he wants to have an affair with another woman. He would tell the other woman things that she wants to hear and the things that he tells her are untrue. Madam, I know you probably wouldn't like what I have said, but I refuse to accept that this woman is such a bad woman and that is the reason this man is having an affair with you. She shouldn't call you a whore, but as you can imagine, she expressed herself to you how she feels. Cursing you out gives her a certain amount of satisfaction. You shouldn't toe-to-toe with her, but if you are such a wonderful woman, you should encourage this man to stay with his children's mother, and you should find a man who doesn't have a woman. This man ought not to blame his children's mother for his eldest daughter's pregnancy. If he wants to throw blame around, he should include himself. And by the way, you should keep out of their business.

Pastor