Dear Pastor,

I am a reader of your column and I find it very interesting. I am 28 and I started to read your column when I was in high school. My husband reads it too. Right now, I am carrying my first child and my husband is not giving me the support that I thought he would have given me. I have to do all the housework and still prepare his meals because I am at home and I am not working. I told him that we should get a day's worker but he says that I am only pregnant so there is no reason why I can't get the work done.

He has a five-year-old son who is living with us. His mother is a careless woman and she wasn't taking good care of him, so he brought the child home and I am taking care of him. The child is very active but he listens to me when I correct him. I have been married to this man for two years.

Although I am pregnant I try to satisfy my husband. He has sex with me in a very rough way but I try not to complain too much because I told him a couple times to go easy and he threatened that he would stop having sex with me and go on the street. I know he means it because he does not say anything that he doesn't mean. If he goes on the street and have sex I would never have sex with him because I have to protect myself.

When it comes to money I don't have a problem. He brings home all that he earns and tells me that I should put some in the bank. He is planning to buy a car for me after I have the baby. I feel nervous about him at times because he is such a good man and my friends tell me that such a man is rare. I have a girlfriend who is always talking up to him and making me feels jealous. She even suggests that she would borrow from him to do a little business. And, pastor, this friend has a man who works with the government.

T.S

Dear T.S.,

I am glad to hear that you have a good husband and I would like to just say take good care of him. He is taking good care of you. He does not see the need for you to have a helper. He is wrong but you have to convince him that you do need one. I believe that what he is trying to say is that you should just take your time and do what you can do in the house. Perhaps he believes that you can save some money by not having to pay a day's worker.

Your husband is a straight talker. When you complained about how rough he is having sex he warned you that he would seek satisfaction on the street. You believe him. You know your man. Perhaps what both of you should do is to learn to do different positions, especially now that you are pregnant. I hope your husband would never carry out such a threat because you are concerned that he can contract STIs and that might cause a break-up of your marriage.

Do your very best to keep your marriage going. It is not many men who would bring home their paycheque and give to their wife and expect her to use it wisely. I believe that your husband appreciates the fact that you are taking very good care of his son.

Concerning your girlfriend who wants to borrow money from your husband to do business, that is a no- no. She is no threat to you. You are in control of everything. Tell her to go to a credit union and borrow the money she needs.

Pastor