Dear Pastor,

This is the second time I am writing to you. The first time I wrote, I looked in the Star every day to see my letter but, sad to say, I looked in vain.

I told somebody about it and he said perhaps you had not received my letter.

I am 20. I have a boyfriend. He is 25. He is not my first boyfriend. I have had five different boyfriends. I have been having sex since 17. I never got pregnant. None of them complained except my present boyfriend. He said he does not enjoy sex with me because his erection is not strong.

Every time I am ready, he is not. His penis is soft. I try to help him get it up but something is wrong.

How could such a young man have problems maintaining an erection? The doctor told him nothing was wrong with him. Something must be wrong with him, pastor, because he cannot satisfy me. I don't want to leave him because he pays my rent and is very good to me. It is not that he is large or anything like that. We have oral sex but I do not want that all the time.

M.H

Dear M.H.,

It is not unusual for young men to suffer from erectile dysfunction. Some folks might be shocked to know there are perhaps thousands of young men who are just braggers, not performers, and women laugh at them. There are numerous causes why young men may be unable to maintain an erection. Some are under great stress. Some are suffering from depression. Many have abused alcohol and illicit drugs. Even some drugs that are being prescribed by doctors can cause erectile dysfunction.

Yes, young men do suffer from these things. Obesity itself is not a risk factor for erectile dysfunction but there is a connection. The bigger concern is that obesity can lead to type 2 diabetes or vascular diseases, which are risk factors for erectile dysfunction.

One of the worst things that can happen to a young man is to not be able to function sexually. He feels his life has come to an end. If his wife is not cooperative, his condition worsens. Some frustrated women are not afraid to tell their men they will cheat on them if their condition does not improve. Some of these men know the women are cheating but are very quiet about it because of their condition.

I must say to you, therefore, if you love this man, see to it that he works with his doctor and be patient with him.