with Shelly-Ann Weeks

When it comes to sexuality, there is a very clear shift in how people feel about engaging in certain activities. Oral sex, for example, has become a main course on many couples sexual menu.

According to a national survey conducted in the US, from June 2006 through December 2008, more than 80 per cent of sexually active youth and adults ages 15-44 years reported having had oral sex at least once with a partner of the opposite sex.

Source: http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/stdsstis/oral-sex-stis/.

Dancehall for a very long time was very clear about not eating below the sheets, bowing, cleaning the sword, going down - it's a no-no. Recently, however, many individuals have been eating everything.

Fellatio is the technical term used to describe oral contact with the penis. Cunnilingus describes oral contact with the clitoris, vulva or vaginal opening. Anilingus (sometimes called 'rimming') refers to oral contact with the anus.

Oral sex is more than just stimulating the female and male genitalia with the mouth, the anus has also been added. So here are some things to remember the next time you eat below the sheets:

Don't do it if you don't want to - While many persons have their own opinions about oral sex, there are some who will make their decision based on various influences. Be sure that you really want to participate before you put your mouth on anyone's genitals. Your partner should respect whatever your choices are or find a partner who can.

Practice safe sex. It's still possible to spread STDs - Contrary to what some people actually think, oral sex counts. It is possible to contract STDs - like Chlamydia, Herpes, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, HPV, among others through oral contact.

For fellatio (mouth-to-penis contact):

Cover the penis with a non-lubricated latex condom.

Use plastic (polyurethane) condoms, if a partner is allergic to latex.

For cunnilingus (mouth-to-vagina contact) and anilingus (mouth-to-anus contact):

Use a dental dam, or

Cut open a condom to make a square, and put it between the mouth and the partner's vagina or anus.

Always start off clean - After a day of movement in the heat of Jamaica's tropical environment, the genitals are sweaty and may not be at their most edible state. So start off in the shower together before you dive in for the main course. Although there are some persons who enjoy their oral sex with a little extra flavour, generally I would say, start off clean.

There is a greater risk of infection with analingus than the other oral sex because of the environment of the anus. The 'giver' can contract bacterial infection from their partner's faecal matter and develop symptoms such as diarrhoea, nausea, or other symptoms, so contact your doctor if you notice anything.

The fact is the entire body can experience pleasure so, however, you choose to express yourself with your partner is up to you. Just remember to talk to each other first about your concerns and preferences.

Communication is essential to the success of every relationship so ensure that you and your partner are on the same page. Stay sexy and get your cunnilingus, fellatio or analingus on, if that's what you want.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexylive or Facebook www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy

Question

Dear Dr Sexy,

I recently found out that my ex-boyfriend and my friend are dating. I personally don't care but they are hiding it from me. I don't want him but it is clear she doesn't want me to know. Should I confront her?

Karen, Ocho Rios

Dear Karen,

I understand how you feel and I would not recommend that you confront her. Allow her to tell you in her own time. Maybe she feels that you will be upset if you found out. Perhaps you can find a way to make it clear that you don't have any feelings for this person and you don't care who he dates.

Good luck and stay sexy,

Dr Sexy