Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am a big fan of yours. My life is miserable at the moment. My wife and I are not seeing eye to eye. She was married twice and I was only married once. She said that she divorced her husband because he was a liar, a cheater and he didn't like to bathe. She came to America and we got married. She wanted to control me in every way.

I have three children, two sons and one daughter. My daughter is my confidant. Whenever my daughter came to see me my wife would come and sit with us. I could not talk to my daughter privately. I asked my wife why she has to sit with us when I am talking business with my daughter. She said I shouldn't have anything to hide from her. For that reason, unless my daughter is coming to the house for dinner, she wouldn't come. Or we had to meet somewhere and talk while my wife was gone to church.

Saw me hugging

I have a business and my children names are in it, but my wife wants my children names out. My wife saw me hugging my daughter and when she left, she asked me why I had to hug my daughter so tight. I could not believe my ears. I would not even tell my daughter what she said. My daughter had a new cell phone number. She wrote it and gave it to me. My wife went into my pocket and saw the number. She didn't know it was from my daughter and she called the number. When my daughter answered the phone she told her sorry, she was just checking on the number because she saw it in my pocket. My daughter was very upset.

I don't have another woman, so I do not know what to do. I can't live with this woman anymore. Please for your advice.

D.E.

Dear D.E.,

Your wife is not using common sense. She should appreciate the good relationship that you have with your daughter. She is, instead, jealous and suspicious of both of you. An intelligent wife would excuse herself when she becomes aware that a father wants to have a private conversation with his daughter. It is not everything a father may want a child's mother to hear. Therefore, your wife should give your daughter and yourself space to talk.

Concerning the removing of the children's names from whatever business you have is between yourself and the children. It is wrong for your wife to tell you what to do as it relates to your children. It seems to me that you have a greedy and selfish woman as your wife. And what she is doing is to cause you to think that, upon your death, she would not treat the children fairly.

I suggest that you seek the advice of an attorney-at-all. He/she would give you some suggestions on how to protect your children and yourself.

Pastor