Dear Pastor,

I am living with my brother and wife. My brother is sending me to school, but his wife does not like me. He and his wife have a child together. I don't get in their way, but nothing I do pleases her. His wife is always saying if I were not around, they would have more money.

When I was living in rural Jamaica, I needed help. My brother told my mother he would help, so he rented a bigger home and gave me my own room. I did not know his wife was not in favour, but she talks about it all the time.

Sometimes she wants me to stay home and take care of the baby. The first time I did, my brother quarrelled and told her he did not bring me to Kingston to look after the baby. He told her to take the baby to a nursery.

When my brother was not there, she cursed me. She told me horrible things. She said my brother and I must be having sex. I was afraid to tell him when he came home because I did not want him to hit her.

My brother told me I could cook my own meal, so I have been doing so. I heard her complaining that I am using up her gas. She is not a good sister-in-law. I don't ask her for anything. One day, she had an argument with my brother. My brother told her if I couldn't stay, niether can she. I told my mother what was happening. She told me to come home. My brother said no. I am doing well in school but am unhappy at the house.

H.A.

Dear H.A.,

Your sister-in-law is behaving like someone who doesn't have any home training. She is behaving like an illiterate woman. As your sister-in-law, she should treat you better. If she was brought up properly, she would treat you well and be glad she has a husband who will help his sister. She shouldn't be accusing you of going to bed with your brother. Her mouth is filthy.

I agree with your brother. He is making a sacrifice. Stay right where you are. You are not in your sister-in-law's way. It won't be long before you finish your studies.

Be respectful to your sister-in-law. Don't get into any argument with her. When she throws her words, so to speak, do not respond. Make sure you assist with the house chores and always behave like a lady. Be on your guard. This woman doesn't like you, so be prepared at all times. She may tell lies on you.

Pastor