Cuteness can only carry you so far. My three-year-old discovered that this week when, for the first time in his short life, his mommy spanked him for being defiant. He had refused to heed her instruction about picking up some coins he had spilled on the floor.

'Chase, pick up the coins!" his mom instructed.

"No!" was his retort.

"Chase, I told you, pick up the coins."

"No," he said once more, with the cutest frown you will ever see.

The assault was quick, like that of a Cobra. Two quick slaps on his brief-padded buttocks drove the message home. The frown gave way to a look of anguish and tears following closely behind. I guess he never expected it. This was mom, his refuge from dad who is always kissing and hugging him.

This was mom, his sole reason for living. He was now discovering that she could be the sole reason for his destruction, should he ever defy her again. The message, indeed, got through.

Later that night, when she threatened to spank him again, he ran away with his hands covering his buttocks.

Now, let me make this clear. Mommy didn't hit him hard. They were deliberately softened taps, just hard enough for him to know she was serious. What was interesting was that he cried even harder when she sent him to the 'naughty corner', after he still refused to pick the coins up. The child is as stubborn as they come, but then you can't really blame him for that. He gets it from her.

That being said, there is something to be said for not sparing the rod. I am in no way an advocate of corporal punishment. In fact, the first time I spanked the elder of my two sons, I used a belt, gave him eight slaps. I threw up shortly after. The message was sent, as it did with the little one this week.

He understood that there are consequences for doing the wrong things. I am certain the next time he spills coins on the floor, and his mom tells him to retrieve them, there will be no defiance.

We reciprocate. For example, he doesn't like to see me show mom any affection. Should I hug and kiss mom, he is immediately spurred into action. He gets in between us and, like an old-school principal using a ruler to separate slow-dancing teens by the proverbial foot, pushes us apart to the width of his wingspan. "What's the big idea?," he queries like a father ensuring his daughter avoids sexual contact with a more-than-willing suitor.

As a result, we avoid displays of affection in his presence. It demonstrates to him that we will respect his position on certain things, as he needs to respect ours on all things, at least for the time being.

In the meantime, though, he has come to realise that his days of getting away with 'crimes', just because he is cute, are quickly coming to an end. I think he blames that on me but, hey, I will take one for the team if we are to raise him right. He won't be young and cute forever.

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