Dear Pastor,

I need some advice for a friend. She got married to a man five months ago. This man is the worst one could find.

He claims to be a pastor. He is nasty. He doesn't bathe, help to clean the house, sleep in the matrimonial bed unless he wants sex, or thinks she is fertile.

She wants to visit another church but he does not allow her to. He doesn't give her money. She wants to leave him but she wants her papers.

I don't know what to tell her. I just say, 'Hang in there'. Should she?

Y.B.

Dear Y.B.,

You seem to know this woman intimately. She has told you everything about her man.

Evidently, she didn't know much about him before she consented to marry him. If a man doesn't bathe, he is indeed a nasty man.

There must be a real problem in the relationship if he only sleeps with her when he believes he could get her pregnant.

This man seems to have this woman under his total control, but why does she allow him to control her?

He does not give her money, he doesn't want her to visit any other churches.

She is in bondage. Papers or no papers, she needs to cut herself loose, but before doing so, she should speak to an immigration lawyer.

Pastor