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August 7, 2015
Star Tell Me Pastor



 

He is 15 years older than I am

I am a 15-year-old girl. I read your column every day and now I am in need of your advice. I met a man last December. He told me he was 15 years older than I am. After a while, I found him very interesting. He became my best friend. We got very close after a month. He became my so-called boyfriend and I have never had a problem with him.

Pastor, he has never touched me in a way that is wrong or uncomfortable. He has never introduced sex to me. He has a son and a girlfriend who is cheating on him. I see him every Wednesday and he tells me everything. He is a mechanic. The problem is, I told my step-mother about him just to be truthful to her. She said the type of man I described doesn't exist. She said I am living in a dream world and I should wake up. He and I have never argued. He has never kissed me. He encourages me. He is a father, a friend and a mentor.

Pastor, what should I do? Should I believe my step-mom? Or could he be real?

M.M.

Dear M.M.,

Your step-mother is not a fool. She is doing her duty as a parent to warn about danger ahead. You have become very good friends with this man. You describe him as your boyfriend and that is exactly where he wants you. He has been able to woo you. You are not wise enough to tell him no, because you have found him to be a good man and one you can confide in. The guy is slick. Think with me. He tells you everything. That is not true, he is not telling you everything. He has told you what he wants you to know. How can you be sure that when he said his girlfriend is cheating, he is telling the truth?

Have you considered a reason why he has never touched you inappropriately? I believe it is because you have not yet reached the age of consent? You are almost at that age where he is likely to begin to touching you or ask for sex. So, it is not because he respects you why he has not tried to kiss you or to ask for sex. He has not done so because he is afraid of prison. I hail your step-mother and urge you to end the relationship with this man. Otherwise, you will find yourself having sex with him and maybe get tangled in a conflict with his child's mother.

What I have said you may accept or reject, but I believe that I have given you the type of guidance you need. Many girls your age find it hard to walk away from trouble because the men they are with are very slick. These men give girls your age the impression that they love them. This relationship is not good for you, so walk away.

Pastor

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