Dear Pastor,

I am 32 and living with my man. He is 45. We are employed and share a joint account. A few weeks ago we had a major quarrel. I decided to open a separate account, without his knowledge, so I have stopped depositing money to the joint account.

I withdraw from that account, when I feel like, and put some of the money in my personal account. He still gives me money, weekly, for myself and the house but I am wiser now because the house in which we live belongs to him, and I wouldn't want him to throw me out broke.

I am not a mother but he has three children. I joined two partners but have not told him anything about them. Could you suggest other ways I can save money without his knowledge? I am doing these things for rainy days. I buy the weekend Star each week so I will be looking for your answer. God bless.

M.S

Dear M.S.,

I find your wanting me to suggest other ways by which you can rip off your man absurd. You have decided to do unethical things. You want me to agree with you and suggest other methods. You have been living with a good man. Yes, you had a heated argument. Perhaps harsh words were expressed, on either side but this man continues to treat you well. He gives you money for yourself and to run the house, although you are working.

The money in the joint account is for savings. You have no right to go behind his back, withdrawing the money and putting some into a new account that you opened for yourself.

That is very wrong. If you wanted to open an account in your name only, you were free to do so. You are an individual. You are working and may use your money how you please.

A wise woman, however, would not steal from her man and put it into an account with her name only. Yes, I am saying that it is tantamount to stealing. You are iniquitous. Is it any wonder that some men don't trust women, at all, when it comes to money?

Like a fool, this man continues to give you money because he doesn't expect you to do anything that is unethical. He loves you. He is taking care of you but you have become a gold-digger and using the excuse of, 'Suppose he throws' you out you wouldn't have anywhere to go. Has it not crossed your mind that one day this man may check on the joint account and realise you have been withdrawing money? Wouldn't that be good enough reason to kick you out of his house? Yes, it would be good reason to do so. You are a wicked woman.

Cease from taking money from the joint account. You are not behaving as a woman who loves her man. What you love is his money. If you know you don't love him, why don't you just go? I am all for a woman to be wise but cannot support any woman who behaves like a crook.

Pastor