... still in love with my ex-girlfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am a 44-year-old male. I am married and my wife and I have a six-month-old baby. The thing that is bothering me is that before I got married I had another girlfriend. She went away and told me that she was not coming back, so I should find somebody else because she wanted me to be happy. She had an idea that the young woman that I married and I were good friends, so she encouraged me to build the relationship. I told her that I wanted her only in my life. That meant nothing to her

Then she called me and told me that she is having a relationship with a man where she works. Before three months passed she was married to that man. The marriage did not work. She was in Jamaica recently and we slept together and it is like I cannot stop thinking about her. My wife does not know that I had sex with this woman, but she knew that she was in Jamaica. This woman is encouraging me to divorce my wife and to marry her. I love her just as much as I love my wife. She was first.

My wife is a quiet woman. I have been doing things to cause the both of us to fuss and quarrel and she keeps asking me what is the problem. I am just confused. I would like to go to America to be with this woman. If I do, my wife's relatives would think very little of me and right now I owe one of her sisters one million dollars that we borrowed from her to help us pay down on a house. I need your advice.

C.S.

Dear C.S.,

You don't expect me to tell you that you should leave your wife and go to America to be with this woman, who told you before you were married that she was no more interested in the relationship. Do you? And finally, she called and told you that she had a man in America. You have a very wayward mind. This woman came back to Jamaica on vacation and both of you had sex, and now she is encouraging you to leave your wife. What a wicked man you would be!

Stop trying to destroy your marriage. Your wife is very quiet. You are very fortunate to have such a woman. Lots of men would love to have quiet women in their homes, women who would not argue and make their lives miserable. You have such a woman. Stay with her. Don't try to make her unhappy. You would be making a big mistake if you were to walk away from your matrimonial home. Be careful, retribution may catch up on you.

Pastor