Dear Pastor,

I am 51 and have been involved with a man who is 55. He is selfish and a liar. I can't trust him.

I live in a one-room wooden house. When he visits, we have sex on my old bed. He eats the food I cook, sometimes on a coal stove whenever I run out of gas. He has never given me money to buy the gas. People might think I have a good man because he drives, but he is not. When he wants to have sex on weekends, he brings jerk pork and jerk chicken.

I told him I wanted to go to the USA to visit my daughter and asked him to buy me a ticket. He never gave a direct answer. When my daughter suggested a date to visit, I asked him for the money again. He told me to pay for the ticket and he'll reimburse me when he gets his partner draw. I bought the ticket and he took me to the airport. When I returned to the island, he picked me up. On the night of my return, before I could use the bathroom, he wanted sex. He said nothing about the money.

He slept over and left the following day. When he returned, I asked him about the partner money. He said I went on vacation and the ticket has been paid for so I should let it go. I told him not to come back without the money. He told me I love money too much.

Why should I have this man come see me when he has nothing to offer? My daughter sent him shirts and underwear, but I am not giving it to him unless he brings the money he promised to reimburse.

I.H.

Dear I.H.,

By now, you should realise this man is a user. Some would say you only have him as your lover because you believe he can help financially. Well, he hasn't been helping you. He made you a promise and he should have kept it. How much could this ticket have cost for him to not keep his word? If he couldn't afford to pay for it, he should have said so.

I really cannot encourage you to continue the relationship with this man. He is very unfair. If you know you can do without him, tell him not to come back. He might be standing in the way of you getting a good man.

Pastor