Dear Pastor,

This is not the first time I am writing to you, but I hope that you will answer me. I am 30 and I have four children. My husband is 60. He has done well. He has two homes and has just retired. His pension is very good and he has investments. He has always been jealous of me. I cheated on him once and he found out, but I have not done it again.

I am sex-starved. Sometimes my husband cannot have an erection for weeks. He has gone to many doctors, but they have not been able to help him much. Every time I touch him for sex, he goes down on me. I have to be satisfied with what he can do. If I am not satisfied, then I will have to go outside and I don't want to do that again because I am afraid that my husband might kill me and kill the man. The man I cheated with talks to me sometimes, but we keep away from each other, but I still like him.

One doctor told me that part of my husband's problem is due to the medications he is taking. Sometimes, when I fuss about sex, my husband says that there are other women he can get who would be satisfied with the little he can give. I feel sometimes that I would cheat again but then I say to myself, why should I risk giving up all that I have? My children love their father. There is nobody to them like him.

All my husband requires of me is to keep myself clean. When we have the type of sex that he likes I try to make him feel good by playing with his limp penis. But it is so hard, pastor, it is so hard. I am still a young woman.

L.M.

Dear L.M.,

You should try to be faithful to your husband. He is 60, but he is not an old man, so evidently, he might be suffering from some other physical problems. Exercise patience. You know that you have cheated before, and if you were to do so again, you may totally destroy your marriage, so perish that thought.

From the tone of your letter, this man has done well financially. He supports you and he has good assets. His children loves him and your only complaint is sex. Work with him and see that he follows the advice of the doctor. I am sure that although you feel that your sex life is not good, you know that a good relationship is more than sex.

Pastor