Dear Pastor,

I am 41 years old and I am living with my boyfriend who is 45. Things were sticky with us so he agreed for me to come to Kingston to work as a helper. I promised him that I would come home every other week because the employer told me I would get a weekend every other week. I started to do so. I talk to him almost every night. There were times when I fell asleep talking to him. I also talk to my two boys who are not his children but they are with him.

One night I called and he wasn't there but he had left his phone. One of the boys answered and I asked for him and they said that Jean sent to call him so he will be back. He called me back and I asked him who is this Jean and he said that she is living in the area and her pipe burst, so she sent to ask him to fix it. He is a plumber by trade.

When I went down I heard that he had got mixed up with this young woman, so I told him that I am going to give up the job in Kingston because this girl is going to cause us to break up. He convinced me that nothing was going on between himself and this woman. I tried to put it out of my mind and I came back to Kingston to work. Now the woman is pregnant by him and he is telling me that it is a mistake. The house that we are living in was built by the two of us. He is doing his little farming but that's all he can do. He told me he is not sure that the child is his, so now he has changed his tune from not having sex with the woman to not being sure that he got her pregnant. I am not going to stay with him because I have two children and both of them are still in school.

I went and asked the girl if it is true that she is pregnant for him and she said yes. I asked her what about her man and she said he is not in Jamaica. I am taking my little money to help to feed this man. I work very hard. My children call him daddy but when I go back I am planning to tell them that he got the girl pregnant and hear what they have to say.

My heart is full. Every man I have got has let me down.

O.R

Dear O.R.,

If your children are old enough and you can reason with them, do so. If you do not have a place to go it would not be wise for you to walk out on this man. On the other hand, to remain with him is to bring more burdens on yourself because he would be taking away from the family to maintain his new baby. You have to determine in your mind whether you can support yourself and your children without the help of this man. He is a liar and a deceiver and you have to make up your mind before he pulls you down further.

Pastor