Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you about a problem am having. I have been sexually active since I was 19. My boyfriend and I have a good relationship. We continued to have sex until he left the island to study two years ago.

Since that time, I have been under severe pressure. I miss him so much. I have tried to remain faithful but have been having serious headaches, especially on weekends when I am alone and thinking about him.

I have gone to see a doctor, who told me I am having these headaches because I am not having sex. I am wondering if it is true, because the guys at my workplace told me the same thing.

I told my boyfriend. He said I should not go back to that doctor. He said I should also not go with any man, because he could have gone with girls, but had not because he had promised to remain faithful, and would be back in a year.

I don't go anywhere with my friends because they all have their boyfriends. I do not want to get involved with them. I tried to masturbate a couple times but didn't like it. Could lack of sex really give me these terrible headaches I am experiencing? I would love to hear from you.

S.T

Dear S.T.,

You are missing your man and thinking about him so much that it brings on headaches. That's not unusual. When the doctor said you needed sex to cure your headaches, I believe what he meant was you need your boyfriend's company, and the headache would dissipate when he is with you.

Let me try to explain what I believe the doctor was saying. If a woman is suffering severe hardship because she has her children to support, but she does not have any money, what may happen is that she may develop severe headaches. However, if someone would come and offer her $5,000, or more, she would have immediate relief because that $5,000 would enable her to buy food, even though it would be temporary.

"While the idea that sex might cure a migraine sounds almost too good to be true, a recent study in the journal 'Headache' reports that the neurotransmitter serotonin is released during sex, creating an all-over feel-good sensation. In addition, an orgasm releases endorphins, which work to relieve pain, says Dr Alexander Mauskop of the New York Headache Center."

Nobody has died from lack of sex. It is known that men tell women all the time that if they don't have sex they will get ill. Don't allow what people say, even your doctor, to cause you to be unfaithful to your man. If you do, you may lose him forever.

Pastor