Dear Pastor,

I am a 21-year-old female and I have a lot of problems. A few years ago, I met this man, and every day, he told me that he loved me. I told him that I had a boyfriend but because he wouldn't stop pestering me, I decided to give him a try, so I stopped talking to my boyfriend. And the first evening I went to his house we had sex, and it was very good. He did everything to make the sex better than what I have had.

He introduced me to his mother and she told me right before his face that she had girl children, so if he and I were serious, I would become her daughter, but I should know that he was a wild man. He was very upset with his mother and said she was dissing him, but his mother said she was not dissing him, she was telling me the truth.

One day, I went to see him and he was in his room with another girl. I called him on his cell but he would not answer. I went home, but I could not sleep. I kept calling his phone until he answered, and would you believe that he said that he was not there when I came. I decided to break up the relationship with him and he cursed me and told me that his present girlfriend was nicer than I and she had more brains.

I went back to my former boyfriend and apologised to him and he took me back. I had to explain everything to my boyfriend . We are together again, but I can't get the other guy off my mind.

K.S.

Dear K.S.,

There are some good mothers around. It is not the first time that I am hearing that mothers have told girls that their sons are wild. Not all mothers support their sons who have many girls. This guy encouraged you to leave your boyfriend and to go to him. Your boyfriend hadn't done you any wrong, but this other fellow sweet-talked you and you fell for it. It didn't work. His mother was right.

You are fortunate that your old-time boyfriend accepted you back into his life. Old-time people say "old fire stick easy to ketch", but now that you are back with him, you are still thinking of Mr. Charmer. What I would suggest is that you make an appointment to go and see a family counsellor because although your boyfriend has taken you back, your mind is not on him.

Pastor