Dear Pastor,

I am 25, a Christian and getting married very soon. My husband-to-be is an elder so we do not engage in sex. I had a child when I was 18. The father didn't want him and I couldn't manage on my own because I wanted to go back to school, so I gave him away. I am sorry now that I gave away my son. I did not know I would have met a pastor. He loves children.

The lady I gave the child tells everybody that he is her son. We did not do a legal adoption but she told me when I gave her the child that the child can know me but she will not give him up when he grows up. I agreed. My fiancé said that the lady is correct and I should not fight her for the child. I know the child is better off with this lady but I feel so sad at times. I had the child a few times with me but by the evening he said to me, "I want to go home".

The father has nothing to do with the child. I hope that my husband will get me pregnant soon after we get married because I have lots of eggs inside of me ready to be fertilised. I enjoy your column so much. Keep up your good work.

B.A.

Dear B.A.,

I am glad that you were able to find someone who was quite willing to accept your child as her own and has taken care of him. But I am also pleased to hear that you are now in love with a man you consider to be a good man and that both of you are planning to get married. I hope that both of you will take care of each other and that you will have many years together.

You seem to be ready for another child. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you were to get twins? Your fiancé is right. Don't make any fuss with the woman to get back your son. You did what you felt was best at the time. The child will grow up loving the woman who has taken care of him but will not forget that you are his biological mother. And you knew her position before she took the child from you. She told you that she would not give him up, so leave her alone.

I wish you the very best in the future. Get married early and let me hear from you again.

Pastor