Dear Pastor,

I hope all is well with you and your family. It's been a while since I have spoken to you. I am from Bermuda. I am writing to tell you I am now ready for you to get me a beautiful lady who I can marry.

First I would like to have her as a friend to date, so we can get to know each other. Before we move to another level in the friendship.

The lady I am looking for should be between 35 and 38, and must be working. She must be Christian-oriented and without kids.

Also, pastor, this lady I am looking for should either be white, Indian, Filipino or Chinese, no blacks. She must be flexible and able to travel for leisure.

If you find this special lady for me, kindly ask her to send me picture. I will end her mine.

Just to give a brief description of myself, I am an easy-going person, very jovial, loving, caring, romantic, dextrous and also a God-fearing gentleman.

I wait patiently to find this blessed woman, who would love me so we both could live happily and do everything together. Hope to hear from you soon. God bless you.

K.D

Dear K.D.,

I wonder where you expect me to get this particular girl for you. Why can't you search for this type of woman on your own? What are you trying to do? What do you have against black women? I wish you well in your search.

Frankly, I don't think you are ready for a serious relationship. If, at your age, you are still asking someone to help you to find this special girl, something is wrong. By the way, are you white, black or yellow?

Pastor