Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years old and I got a job to take care of an elderly man. I have a two-year-old daughter and I was told that I could bring her with me. It is a live-in job. I have to make sure that I take care of the home and take care of the man. This man can move about around the house and sometimes I take him for walks and see that he goes to the doctor. He has a daughter and a son and they are living abroad. Sometimes I have to bathe him and while bathing him he would say something rude but I don't take him on because I have my boyfriend. But I noticed that sometimes he would have an erection.

When he first told me that he liked me, I told him that I am glad that he likes me because I wouldn't want to work with anybody who doesn't. He said that that was not what he meant. He likes me for a relationship. I told him he was more than three times my age. I get $8,000 a week and I don't have to buy food and I live for free.

I go to my boyfriend's home when I want to see him but he is not allowed to come to my workplace. What I noticed is that my boyfriend has nothing to give to me. He never has money to give me to buy even a panty for his daughter. I told him that he should try and get a job but his mother spoilt him. She gives him food. I want to save my money. Whenever I see him we have sex but I want more than that.

I don't know if this man I am taking care of could do anything. I know that he has erections and he has never owed me any money. I always get paid and his children are pleased with my work. I really love him. He is not forcing me but he wants to have sex. And to tell you the truth, I would like to try it with him because I know I would get much more out of him.

I would like to get married but I know his children would never allow him to marry me, plus he is not a very strong man. But his children say that I am taking care of him very well because he is getting stronger and stronger. Please withhold my name and address.

Helper

Dear Helper,

It is not only this man's children that you should be concerned about. You should be concerned about this man's health. You said he is not strong. Although he is feeling stronger since you are working for him, if you were to have sex with him you might kill him. As old people say, "His heart may give way".

Lest anybody jump at me, I am in no way suggesting that a man in his 70s is too old for sex. I would be a fool to make that assumption. People who are in their 80s can be sexually active. What I am trying to say is that you know that this man is not very healthy and you are a young girl, and a young girl is not going to be satisfied to lie in bed quietly. And if his

children suspect that you are having a sexual relationship with their father they will fire you immediately because they would believe that you are after his money or his house.

Just tell this man to learn to control himself and you should learn to do the same. And concerning your boyfriend, continue to pressure him to get a job and please don't use your money to support him.

Pastor