Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and have been dating my boyfriend for 12 months. I am very worried. He is the first boyfriend I have ever had and he tells me he loves me all the time. I tell him I love him, too. He took my virginity. He gives me money every week because I am unemployed and I live with my grandparents. I introduced him to them. They like him. My grandfather told him me he should take care of me and ensure he doesn't get me pregnant. He told my grandfather he will never do that.

When we go on dates, he picks me up and brings me back without any argument from my grandparents. When we have sex, I try to get him to use the condom, but he says we shouldn't worry about it. He says, if I get pregnant, he will marry me. I know I am not pregnant, but I am having an itching sensation in my vagina and an unusual discharge. I have to be wearing pads and it's not my period. I have to ensure that I walk with at least two panties to change during the day.

When I told my boyfriend what was happening to me, he questioned whether I've been with another man. I told him no and asked if he is having sex with anyone else and he said no, he would not do that. I asked him for money to go to the doctor. It has been one week since I asked him and he hasn't brought the money.

Pastor, I am so worried. I can't say anything to my grandmother because I don't want her to know that I am having sex.

R.A

Dear R.A.,

I suggest you tell your grandmother that you are experiencing an unusual discharge and you would like some money to go to the doctor. Don't be worried and don't be afraid to tell her. Grandma, right away, is going to ask you if you have been having sex. You should admit it and tell her you asked your boyfriend for money to see a doctor but he hasn't given you as yet, so you are asking her for it. As soon as you receive it from him, you should give it back to her.

I caution you to do this before your condition worsens. I am sure this is something your boyfriend has passed on to you. I think he needn't be afraid to man up and beg your pardon. He should also provide you with the money, even if he has to borrow it. I know you are young but are old enough to understand that you should never have unprotected sex. I know sometimes when young people are in love and they trust each other, things don't always go right.

I would like to hear from you after you have been to the doctor.

Pastor