Dear Pastor,

I would like to ask you something. I am 50 years old and my wife is 35 years old. She had two children before I married her four years ago. Pastor, I believe I made a serious mistake. When I met her, she was so nice to me. She used to live on her own with her children and she couldn't get any jobs, so I had her come and wash, cook and clean for me. My relatives told me that I have young girl now so they stopped helping me do anything.

I did not know that this girl had her eyes on my house. There is nothing that I wanted that she wouldn't do. I didn't ask her to come and live with me. She moved her clothes piece by piece and started to sleep over. Then the children started to sleep over, too, and then everybody moved. I had to stop going to my church because word spread at church that I was living with a woman.

The children's father was not giving her any money so I started to take on the responsibility of sending them to school. My daughter came to the house and told her that she could not stay there and I told my daughter she was wrong to tell her to leave. My daughter told me that, if the woman was going to stay there and I got sick, I should not call her.

I decided to make this woman my wife so I married her and, from the time I married her, she changed. I can't even talk to her. She calls me an old man. I can't correct the children either. She said they are not my kids. I said, "This house is mine" and she said, "No, the house is for the two of us". I am very unhappy and I want to get her out of my life and my house.

What am I to do?

R.L

Dear R.L.,

There are times people make mistakes and, evidently, you have made mistakes. This woman should not be your wife. She never loved you. She had her eyes on your property. She saw you as the man who would give her children and herself shelter, and from whom she can get some money.

When your daughter intervened, you should have listened to her, but instead you defended your woman. You see, sir, your daughter meant you well. As a woman, she saw your so-called girlfriend at the time as a gold -digger and time has proven her correct. Before you married this woman you should have sort professional counselling, but you didn't.

I suggest, therefore, that you discuss your problem with a lawyer. Call your daughter and tell her that you are sorry for the breakdown in the relationship between herself and you and that you need her help. Warn her, however, not to get into any confrontation with your wife. I wish you well.

Pastor