Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old and I have a boyfriend. It is two years since we are friends. He is very nice to me but I am not always nice to him. I cheated on him three times with three different boys. I did so because he is too busy and he gave me permission to go out with anybody I like. He did not tell me to cheat but the guys I went out with wanted me to have sex with them so I fell for it. I look much older than my age so these guys took me to clubs.

One took me to a strip club and it was my first experience. By the time the girl was down to her strings and she took it off, this guy had his hand right up in my vagina. I didn't object because I could see that he was very horny. My boyfriend didn't know that I went out that night but when he called me the following day and was apologising for not calling me, I told him it was all right because I had a quiet night, I went to bed early. It was a lie, but he believed me.

My boyfriend doesn't smoke or drink but one of the guys I went out with was smoking ganja and asked me if I did not want to take a puff. I did but I didn't like it. My boyfriend is too much of a decent guy. Whenever we go out he doesn't want me to spread out. He always says to me that I should conduct myself as a lady. I know how to have a good time and I cannot be ladylike at all times, especially when I hear certain music. He likes to dance, just like myself, but he doesn't like my type of songs. Sometimes I wonder if I am with the wrong guy.

This might sound strange to you but cheating to me can be exciting. It is fun but when I am finished I feel guilty, especially when I see my boyfriend and he gives me money and tells me that he loves me.

He took me home to meet his parents but they didn't talk to me much. His father kept staring at me and asking me, "Where do I know you from?" I don't know if he saw me on the streets. I just don't know.

K.E.

Dear K.E.,

I don't think that I need to tell you that you are a bad girl. You have a very decent young man as your boyfriend. He doesn't watch you. He told you that because of his job he is unable to see you regularly so you can go out with your friends. And you have taken that very far. You are not only going out with friends, you are having sex with these guys. And you say that you enjoy cheating.

You are taking this man as a fool. You know what you are doing is not right. When you should be in your bed you are gone to club and drinking and having sex, and you have the courage to tell me that you enjoy cheating.

I hope that your boyfriend sees this letter and drop you like hot bread. Why take this man's money if you know that your heart is not in this relationship? Did you know that the men who dated you and had sex with you do not consider you a good girl? They look at you as easy to get. They will not respect you and they will never marry you. They will also laugh at your boyfriend and call him a fool to be in a serious relationship with you.

You don't deserve to have this man who is your boyfriend. You should voluntarily walk away from this relationship, and do so right away. Evidently, you prefer to behave as a whore.

Pastor