Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for a long time. I am the mother of two children. I am in a relationship with a man but he is not the father of my children. Their father supports them but he is married to another woman.

I would like to get married, myself, but the man I am living with is not the marriage type. Every time I talk to him about marriage, he tells me about his friends who got married and are all divorced.

He had a friend who got married to a woman who had children by other men. They had a toss-up (fight) one night. She called the police and the police arrested him. he slept in jail that night while the woman slept comfortably in his bed and in his house. He does not want that to happen to him.

This is not the way I grew up. I have two sisters who are married. I was the unlucky one who got pregnant with twins and discovered after that the father and I are not meant for each other.

My present boyfriend loves the children and they love him but he keeps reminding me he is not the marriage type. What should I do?

S.R

Dear S.R.,

You can't pressure this man to marry you. It is either you are going to continue living with him or end the relationship and live without a man.

If you want to get married, and you see no future with this man you have to move on. If you want to ask him to accompany you to see a family counsellor, you may try. He is happy the way he is living but you are not.

I would really hate to tell you to leave this man. You say he is good with the kids, but does he love you enough to marry you? That is the million-dollar question that must be settled soon.

Pastor