Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you in Jesus' name. I am 19 and one of your fans. I enjoy reading your column and discussing your topics with my friends.

When I was 15, there was a shopkeeper who used to take care of me. When my mother sent me to the shop, he gave me extra things to take home. He said the extras were to take care of me.

One day my mother said to me, "How come you got so much cornmeal?" I told her I did not know. My mother said, "Perhaps the shopkeeper made a mistake." I did not answer her.

I told him not to give me any extra because my mother had asked how I got so much. He took some money, put it in an envelope and told me to bend over. When I bent over, he pushed it in my bra, laughed and said my breasts felt nice. When I got home and went into my room, it was two five hundred-dollar bills. This man has a son my age. He was my secret friend.

When I was graduating, he gave me money and told me to do whatever I wanted to do with it for my graduation. I did not spend it. I put it away. I hid it from my mother.

One day his son told me his father wanted to see me. I stopped by. He told me his birthday was in two weeks' and asked me what I would give him for his birthday. I told him I did not have anything. He said, "That is not true." He told me I could start by giving him a birthday kiss. I agreed.

I went back to see him, just before he closed the shop. When he closed the shop, I was there, just he and I alone. He hugged and kissed me. I could feel his penis pressing against my clothes. He told me to run home before he got himself into trouble.

Pastor, I got to love this man. When I needed help to go to college, I didn't have anybody to help me sign for student loan. I told my mother I was going to ask him. She said he wouldn't help. One of my cousins agreed to sign. I asked the shopkeeper and he signed. I have my boyfriend but I cannot

forget this man. We never had sex but there are times I feel

I owe him because he was a good man to me. He is married but his wife lives in America.

I don't love my boyfriend as much as I love this man, though he is 21 years older than I am. He always has good words me when he sees me. I always visit him when I go home. If this man wasn't married, I would marry him.

Last Christmas, I bought him a pair of shoes a student was selling. Tears came to his eyes when I gave it to him.

R.G

Dear R.G.,

This man had been admiring you from you were a teenager. He started to show interest by giving you more goods than what your mother ordered.

You knew this man had something in mind but never told your mother, even when she questioned why you got more than she had sent you to purchase. You both could have got into trouble when he asked what you were going to give him for his birthday. When he kissed you, you felt the tension. You knew this man had an erection. It could be said this man was a pervert.

However, he did not take advantage of your naivety. It could have gone much further. I am not saying he has been a great man. All I can say is he exercised restraint. I am not at all surprised that, from time to time, you wished you could have had sex with him. However, I am begging you to let this relationship be platonic. Though the temptation is there to get closer to this man, because of his kindness, try to resist such temptations. Whenever you go to visit him, make sure you go when you know the shop is busy and people are around.

I wish you the best in your studies. Make your parents proud. If you do well, I am sure your shopkeeper friend will be proud of you, too. He has done well by being a guarantor for you.

Pastor