Dear Pastor

I am 20 and dating a guy who once dated my friend. She cheated on him. It caused a big problem between the guy and the fellow my friend cheated with. They exchanged harsh words. If people were not there, it would have turned out to be a big fight.

My friend is saying I should not be dating this guy because I knew they were friends. I told her I did not see it that way. If she hadn't cheat on him, he and I would not have been together. She has accused me of telling the guy things about her. She admitted she cheated and I was the only one who knew about it. I did not tell this guy anything about her. It is her conscience that is bothering her.

This guy has a good job and drives a car, but it is not his. It belongs to the company he works with. This girl is trying to cause trouble. She is telling everybody I am a wicked girl and have taken away her boyfriend, but she is not telling them she cheated on him and he left her.

At first, my mother didn't think I was doing anything wrong. Because this girl is bringing scandal on me, my mother told me it is better for me to stop going out with him until everything cools down. It is hard for me to stop seeing him because he took my virginity and wants our relationship to continue. I would like that, too. I want the man who took my virginity to marry me.

This girl has being telling people that I am with him because he is brown. His colour was not in my mind. I love him because he is a gentleman and comes from a good family. I don't ask him for anything but he gives me money.

Pastor, keep up your wonderful work. I am at university and listen to you show every night.

M.T.

Dear M.T.,

You know you have not done anything wrong to break up this relationship with your friend and this man. You should try your very best to keep cool and do not allow what she is saying to get you depressed. It is not surprising this young woman thinks you have something to do with it. The truth is she is upset with you because you are now having a relationship with the guy and, because you were friends, you should not have a relationship.

Although she cheated on the guy, she probably is still in love with him and would prefer not to see you together. That does not mean you are doing something wrong. It is a choice you and this man have made. Make sure you do not get into arguments with this young woman. Your mother told you to stop seeing this guy. She means well but I don't think you have told her this guy took your virginity.

Pastor