Dear Pastor,

I am 35 years old and my wife is also 35. Every year, she is getting fatter and fatter. She is very greedy. If she is feeling hungry, she gets up in the night and goes to the kitchen, not to eat a snack, but to cook. She boils dumplings or bananas and sometimes she will even fry chicken and eat and go back to bed and sleep. And in the morning when she wakes up, she will cook breakfast and take some of it to work.

It is not a laughing matter for me, because her weight is affecting our sex life. I used to like her on top of me when we are making love. I couldn't let her do that now. She would squeeze me to death. Every time I talk to her about the weight, she says I am making it a problem. It is a problem, pastor. Imagine having a wife who was 140lb a few years ago and is now 230lb.

My wife is sure that I am seeing another woman, but I am not. I told her that, if she doesn't take off the weight I would look outside of the marriage, but that is not my intention right now. Apart from the weight problem and the sex, we get along very well. I cannot deal with her because she is oversize.

M.R

Dear M.R.,

I hope that your wife will not take your warning as a joke. Right now, she doesn't consider her size to be a problem, although you have told her so a number of times. She is eating too much. Encourage her to go to the doctor and ask him or her to put her on a reducing diet and try to encourage her to stick with the diet.

I used to know a lady who was very large. She did the same thing. She would get up in the middle of the night and cook and eat until she got so fat, she could hardly walk. She was a young woman. Eventually, she died from all sorts of complications.

I further suggest that you accompany your wife to the doctor and you do everything possible to encourage her to follow the doctors' advice. Some women do not like to follow the advice of their husbands when it comes to their weight. Whenever their husbands tell them that they are overweight, they respond by saying, "You see another woman out there and you want to go with her, that's why you are talking about my weight". So do not be alarmed by what your wife said about your seeing another woman. She needs to understand that being overweight can cause lots of health problems.

Some men like fat women, others don't. You like your woman to be on top of you during love making. If she is at the weight you said she is carrying, I doubt she will be able to do much in that position. Can't work, no sir. I agree with you. She will squeeze you to death.

Pastor