Dear Pastor,

I am 20 and have a boyfriend who is 19. He and I have been friends from I was 17. He took my virginity. I told him that meant we are going to be friends for life, and he agreed.

Now that he has a good job, he is keeping other girls with me. When I asked him why he has so many girls, he told me it was because he asked me to do oral sex with him and I refused. He said that one girl offered it to him the first day he met her and he is now hooked on oral sex, and that is the reason why he has different girlfriends.

I swore that I will not do it, but then I changed my mind because I did not want to lose him. Now that I have given him oral sex it does not make a difference. He is still running around and has caused me to lose confidence in him because my younger sister told me that he touched her on her leg. I asked him about it and he said he was only joking. I told him not to make that type of joke anymore with my sister because he cannot want both of us.

He makes $15,000 every week and gives me $6,000 each week because I am not making much money. But, I would rather not take his money as I cannot stand to see him running around. I am afraid I will get HIV/AIDS. The nurse told me at the clinic that a person can get HIV/AIDS through oral sex.

I have always wanted to marry the man who took my virginity, but it does not seem as if that is going to work because my boyfriend has become wild.

Pastor, I have another problem. Where I am working, the boss says that he loves me. He is married but his wife lives abroad. She visits sometimes, but most of her time is spent abroad.

He told me that if I agree for both of us to have a relationship, I will have to live at his house and he will take care of everything. I asked him what he would do with his wife and he told me that she will have to stay where she is as he is tired of her spending so much time abroad.

His children are also abroad with his wife and he does not want to have any more children. I would like to have at least three children.

What do you think I should do about these two problems - my boyfriend who is running around with other women and having oral sex and my boss who wants me to live with him?

S.K.

Dear S.K.,

You are quite aware that your health is at risk because your boyfriend is having oral sex with different women and is now doing it with you. It is a fact that one can contract HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections through oral sex. Therefore, if you continue with this man, you are putting your health and your life at risk.

What I have said above is enough for you to end the relationship with this man. He took your virginity, but that is not enough to cause you to continue with him. You would have loved for the man who took your virginity to marry you, but there are many good women who are not that fortunate. It is not everything that you want in life you will get.

Concerning your boss, I would not encourage you to get into an intimate relationship with him. That is definitely not wise. He is a married man, and, regardless of what he says, do not go that way. He told you his wife is staying away from him for too long. If you were to go with him and agree to become intimate with him, one of these days after he has used you and is tired of you, he would tell you that his wife has decided to spend more time with him in Jamaica so the relationship that both of you have has to come to an end.

My dear lady, all this man wants, in plain Jamaican language, is 'a piece of you'. Don't go that way.

Pastor