Dear Pastor,

I've been married for four years. I am 30 and my husband is 33. Because of my husband's behaviour, I cannot keep a helper. Everyone who comes here to work for us gets involved with him, and those who did not want to get involved with him left. My husband says it is the girls who are throwing themselves at him. He is very handsome, but he does not speak the truth.

My husband will have sex with me two and three times in one night, and when I am gone to work, he goes back to the house and has sex with the helpers. Last Christmas, my helper told me that she was not coming back for the New Year. When I asked her why, she said her boyfriend told her not to return. The evening she was leaving, I gave her a Christmas gift - some extra money.

I told her that the children and I would miss her and she said that she would miss us, too.

Then she said to me: "Mrs M.O., I really can't work here because I can't look at you in your face because your husband and I are having an affair and I have my boyfriend. "

When I told my husband what she said husband, he started to curse a host of badwords and called the girl a liar.

I did not continue with the argument because I know the girl had no reason lie.

I am afraid that this man is going to give me a disease because he is not stopping.

Pastor, he is the loveliest man you can find. He takes care of his home. I am not in need of anything, but I can't have helpers around. I can't even trust my nieces to be alone my husband. I am worried because my husband does not always use a condom when he fools aroound with these girls. I know because he gave me an STI. He would swear on his life that I am the one who was unfaithful to him.

M.O.

Dear M.O.,

According to what you have said, your husband doesn't care at all. He doesn't love his life, but you ought to love yours. From the way you speak, you love him. He is the type of husband who pays the bills, a good family man, in his own right, but has a great weakness for women. You can either leave him or try to help him.

Frankly, if you were to leave him, he would wreck himself. He would fall to pieces. I suggest that you insist he goes to see a psychologist. He needs help. He has to learn self-control. He is going to wreck himself and the girls are going to take as much money as they can get from him. That money would have been better spent in his home. Your husband can be described as a sex addict, and all sex addicts need psychological help.

I wonder if your husband has a retirement plan? So often, men who play around don't think of putting aside something for retirement. They behave as if they are going to be young forever. Middle-aged men are not as hot as they think because they spend unnecessary money on young women, so, please, try your best to get your husband to a counsellor.

Pastor