Dear Pastor,

I am a 16-year-old girl and live with my father. He doesn't send me to school every day, and is not buying me clothes to wear etc, but I have a boyfriend who lives in St Andrew. I go to visit him but it seems that all he wants from me is sex. He also wants to have sex with my friend. He gives me $4,000 whenever I go to see him. that is all I visit him for. When he became ill, I washed, cooked, cleaned and iron for him. I bathe him and fed him.

I don't want to be moving from man to man, so I was doing everything to please him. I was looking for a husband. he told one of my friends that I am a bitch, but after that he texted me and told me he wants me to have his first baby. he also said he knew he had lied to me but he is sorry and he was begging me not to leave him.

I want to become someone better in life and I would like to join the army. I don't want to see my life go down the drain. What should I do?

S.

Dear S.,

I believe you are a good girl. I believe you mean well. I believe you are a victim of circumstances and, if it were possible, you would stop going to this man. You said the only reason why you go to him is to get the $4,000 from him, but you have come to realise that all he wants from you is sex.

It is really unfortunate that your father does not support you. You did not say anything about your mother. If your father cared, he would be supporting and showing you much love. Surely, he should understand that a 16-year-old girl needs personal items. She needs to take care of herself and she should not be fending for herself. What you are doing is actually selling your body to survive. I say, shame on your father for failing to support you.

This man is not a good man. He is having a relationship with you and, at the same time, he is trying to become intimate with one of your friends. You have ambition. You have plans. I am afraid, however, if you continue to see this man he may get you pregnant and would try to control you even further. The question is, what should you do? Your goal is to become a member of the Jamaica Defence Force. You will have to spend time in your books.

I suggest you speak to your father. let him know it is difficult for you to go to school without lunch money. He may want to know how you were getting along all the time. You can answer his question by simple saying it has been difficult. If you know where to find your mother, you should call and ask for help. You may also ask relatives to assist you. If you attend church, you may talk to your pastor and his wife. Many churches are willing to assist young, ambitious girls in need of financial help.

I hope to hear from you again. You may call my office and discuss your situation with me. My numbers are listed.

Pastor