Dear pastor

I am 23 years old and I am from rural Jamaica. I grew up in a Christian home. I am a university graduate and I have a good job. I have two boyfriends at the moment, one is a Christian and the other is not. I have known the one who is a Christian for five years. He is a cool guy but is struggling. Just recently he bought himself a car, so he comes to see me now every week. He is from a good family and his parents know and like me. He is trying and we are hoping to get married in 2016.

The other guy has a much better job. He is in a managerial position and drives a lovely car. He sends me flowers often. He takes me to nice places to eat. He talks about sex often but has never directly asked me to have sex with him. I told him that I am a Christian so having sex with him is out of the question. I am getting to see that he wants to win over my love.

Do you think that we should stop dating? I have been thinking of telling him that it is not wise for us to continue going out, but I don't want to hurt his feelings because he is such a nice guy.

Another thing, if my boyfriend that I have known for five years and I got married we would have to struggle a little. But this other guy and I won't have to struggle at all because he earns much more than I. He has his own apartment and the other guy is not in a position to buy his own home as yet.

I am hoping to hear from you, Pastor.

M.K.

Dear M.K.,

I suggest that you tell the man who is in a managerial position that although you appreciate him and he has been kind and a real gentleman, you have decided to end the relationship with him and stay with your old boyfriend because you love him. Both of you are Christians, have known each other for a long time, and he has not done you any wrong.

You see, my dear, not all that glitter is gold. This man is financially able to buy you gifts and to impress you and to take you to expensive places, while your poor boyfriend is unable to do these things. You know your old boyfriend much better than this new man, and if you were to marry this man he may have hidden things in his closet, so stay out of trouble.

Pastor