Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 17 and my boyfriend is 18. We have been having sex since I was 16. We love each other and we have lots of sex because his parents work and he is the only child at home. I am my mother's only child and she trusts me. When I leave school during the day, she calls and asks me if everything is all right. Many times, I am with my boyfriend after school, so when I see her number appear, I tell my boyfriend to be quiet and turn the music down.

I told my mother that a guy loves me, but she doesn't know him and I didn't give her his name. I am having a problem with my boyfriend, who claims he knows a girl who is open to anything. He wants her to come and spend time with both of us. I told him no way! I also told him I want to end the relationship. Nowadays, he wants me to perform oral sex on him. I remember a time when he was against that. He says he wants to experiment and try everything to do with sex.

When I go to his house, I always have a shower after sex. I take an extra set of clothes that I can wear home because I take the bus. This guy gives me money because he works part time. I sense that he is cheating on me.

I asked him how he knew the other girl, and he said that a friend introduced her to him and that she had a child and she knew what to do, so we should have fun.

He is my first boyfriend. I don't know how I would manage without him, but I don't like oral sex and I don't see any reason why another woman should come between us. Please give me your advice, Pastor.

H.E.

Dear H.E.,

Why do you have to fool your mother? Why give her the impression that you are a good girl when you know you are not? You should not be engaging in sex. You should be concentrating on your schoolwork. Consider your age and your boyfriend's age. Why is he encouraging you to have a threesome? He is not a good guy. He should not even be introducing that to you.

This guy has been listening to older men and hearing what they are saying and what they are doing. He has decided to do the same. It could be that he has been engaging in oral sex, and who knows, he might have been part of threesomes before. He is out of order to be mentioning that to you. You should drop him as a boyfriend immediately!

Threesomes can be dangerous. Participants may pass on STDs to each other. I beg you, end the relationship with this young man. You will get over him if you are determined to leave him. His influence on you is not good.

Pastor