Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column and enjoy doing so. I am having a problem. I have been married for three years. I am 33. My wife went on an overseas course, so we didn't see each other for seven months. I tried to remain faithful. she promised she would have been faithful.

I failed. I thought nobody knew but it seems one of the girls I had sex with had bragged and told her friends what a good lover I was.

The word got around. by the time my wife got back to Jamaica, she knew everything I did. She didn't even tell me when she was coming. One day when I went home from work, there she was packing up her things. I asked her what she was doing. she asked if I did not see her packing. We started to argue and it became a fist fight. I didn't throw any blow on her but she kept hitting me. She even destroyed my glasses.

About 11 p.m., she was trying to call a taxi. I tried to stop her and she went into the kitchen for a knife. when I saw I backed away and she left. I have been begging her to come back, but she is not showing any interest.

One of the girls I had fooled around with is her niece. she is 19. My wife said I shouldn't have had sex with her niece, so she can never have sex with me again.

Pastor, I am so worried. I want my marriage to be saved but she is not willing to forgive me. Please tell me what to do. Help me save my marriage.

P.L.

Dear P.L.,

It seems as if your wife has gone permanently but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to get her back. I hope you have admitted to her that you have done wrong. I suggest you ask her whether she will be willing for both of you to go and see a family counsellor.

She said she cannot go to bed with you because you had sex with her niece. She is displeased about the affairs you have had. it is painful for her to think that one of the women is her niece.

I am, however, puzzled by your letter. You said one of the girl, with whom you had sex, told her friends that you were a good lover. How did your wife find out about the other women? Did she beat you into confession? I am indeed sorry to know that you have destroyed the good relationship between your wife and yourself but I hope that the marriage can be restored. That is not going to be easy but you should try.

I wish you the very best.

Pastor