Dear Pastor,

I am 46 and I have two children for my husband. He is away working. Two years ago, a friend of mine told my husband that I am keeping a man with him. It was a lie. I told her as my friend, a little secret. I told her, that there was a man who loved me and is inviting me out and he has even given me money to purchase a mattress because the mattress I had was old. I took the money from him but I never went to bed with him.

Another time, she and I were talking and she asked me what about my boyfriend. I laughed and told her that he was still around. She took that to mean that I was keeping the man with my husband. Nothing went like that. I never went to bed with this man.

When my husband came back he refused to sleep on the bed with me with the new mattress. And he told me everything that my friend told him. He went as far as to threaten to burn the mattress. I had to cry and call the children before their father to convince him that no man every came into the house or slept here when he was away. This woman said she didn't mean to cause any trouble, but, pastor, I believe that she wants to have an affair with my husband because he is still in contact with her.

My husband was in Jamaica for two weeks and the first week he never touched me. And when I saw the second week was going to come to an end and we didn't have sex I had to force him to have sex with me. And he kept saying that his mind was not comfortable and he would kill me if it was true that i cheated on him.

I stopped talking to my friend, but one night I dreamt that I saw her, so the next morning I called her and told her about the dream. I also told her I am afraid of my husband because he is going to kill me and she would be the cause, so she should call him and tell him that she was only joking. Until now she hasn't called him.

What should I do?

V.E.

Dear V.E.,

There are some things that you should never tell a friend, regardless how close a friendship you believe that you have with him or her. There are some things you keep close to your chest because it might be repeated. You consider this woman your friend. Well, the event has proven that she was not a good friend.

What was her purpose in telling your husband what you told her? Perhaps she wants the both of you to break up. Perhaps she is jealous of you because he takes good care of you. Perhaps she wants to have an affair with your husband and, naturally, you are in her way.

But I want to ask you, why would you tell this man that you needed a new mattress? Isn't that something you should talk to your husband about? If a man gives you money to buy a mattress, would you not think that one of these days he is going to suggest to you that he would like to test the strength of the mattress with you? You made a mistake and I suggest that you either return the money that he gave you to buy the mattress, or give it away to someone who is in need, or burn it.

Have nothing to do with your friend. She is like a snake in the grass.

Pastor