Dear Pastor,

I am living with a man. I took him off the street. He was almost living there. He always called to me when I pass by. One day, he asked me if I could help him get a job.

I asked him where he was living and he said nowhere. I went home and I kept thinking about him. My husband left me for a much younger woman.

One week later, I saw this man again and I told him that he can come to my house. He came with a scandal bag.

I didn't allow him to bring the scandal bag into the house. I gave him some clean clothes that I had.

When I was finished dressing him, he looked like a woman because I didn't have male clothes to give him, except for a new T-shirt. I gave him my sweatpants to wear.

Pastor, this man and I became lovers after living together for three months. Believe it or not, he is not a bad man. He got into trouble with the law, and his relatives rejected him.

Now, when they see him, they want to get money from him. Some people don't recognise him when they see him walking on the road.

Now, the problem I had with my husband is the problem I am having with this man. He has been cheating. He told me it is not true, but I know it is. Whenever I am around, his cell phone does not ring. It is always off. Don't you believe he doesn't want me to hear who is calling?

I tried to use his cell phone, but he had a password on it. I asked him why he put a password on it, but he couldn't give me a reason. I told him if he has another woman, I would throw him out. He says I am too jealous. I don't even insist that he work because I have my own business and all I need is a little help. I am 64 and he is 35.

L.T.

Dear L.T.,

You have been very kind, but I believe there is more to you than you say. Your husband left you for a younger woman, and now you are alleging that this man is keeping other women with you.

The question is, did you love this man when you took him off the street? You did not say you both fell in love. I could be wrong, but it seems to me that you wanted a man to help you, and this man had nowhere to live, so you took him in. Although both of you were cohabiting, it might not be because of love.

I do not doubt that this man might be having sexual relations with other women. He might be denying it because he is afraid you might throw him out. He has his plans. He is buying time. One of these days, he is going to move on, so you should prepare yourself for that.

Frankly speaking, madam, stop making yourself silly. Your husband walked out on you. You have not said whether you got a divorce, but you're a senior citizen, and if you are divorced and you want a man, look for somebody who is closer to your age.

Tell this young man to leave. Do not threaten him. Tell your relatives and your close friends that you intend to end the relationship with him. Stop sleeping with him. Give him a month to leave your house.

If you are not careful in how you handle this situation, something bad may happen. So, whatever move you plan to make, let others know.

Pastor