Dear Pastor,

I come to you today because I have a few things bothering me right now. First thing is that my mother doesn't like the mother of my son because she is part Cuban and part Honduran. We moved to the States so that I could go to school, and at the same time I was dealing on the streets so that I could make a little money for myself and my family.

My mother wants me to talk to a Jamaican woman. Don't get me wrong, pastor, I love women from Jamaica. I think they are beautiful, but I love this woman. My mother wants me to get a DNA test done for my son. I told her no because my son looks just like me. She said she is not doing anything for my son.

My mother had me when she was young. My so-called father's mother doesn't like her. I told her that she is doing the same thing his mother did when she was 16 and he was 21. My mother also wants me to call him dad and I don't even know him well. He was not there for me when I was growing up.

The other thing is that I am now in prison. When I was out making money on the streets everyone had their hands out. I made sure everyone had food and was always okay. Now I am locked up, nobody writes or even pick up the phone. All I wanted was for them to look out for my son while I am away. The mother of my child and I don't talk because of my family. Now the love I had for her went through the window.

I have three years left in prison. When I get out, should I just let things be? I need your help on this.

B.

Dear B.,

You say that your mother doesn't like your child's mother. What does that have to do with your being in prison? You are in prison because you were doing things that were illegal. You didn't have to be carrying on illegal activities, but now that you are there you have a lot of time to think and you wish that your relatives and your so-called babymother would visit you.

It does not appear that this woman loves you as much as you love her. Perhaps your mother saw what you couldn't see. Your mother wanted you to have a relationship with a Jamaican woman but you chose this woman.

Although the child looks like you, I would suggest that you follow the advice of your mother and do a DNA to ascertain if you are indeed the biological father of this child. If after you are out his mother refuses to renew the relationship with you, don't try to force her. As I said earlier, I doubt very much that she loves you as much as you love her.

Pastor